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When it comes to dating in Switzerland, online forums are full of expats crying out for tips on meeting the ‘reserved', ‘conservative' or ‘unapproachable' Swiss.Looking for answers, The Local's Emily Rose Mawson uncovers some quirks of the Swiss dating scene.
“She would suggest meeting up only every two weeks, even though we didn't live far from each other,” he says.Take German expat Lena*, a leggy blonde: she noticed that since moving to Zurich, she has not been hit on much in bars.“I mainly get approached by Spanish guys,” she admits, adding that she thinks Swiss men must be too arrogant or too scared to speak to women.She says: “Labelling yourself as an expat when you want to date locals is not always helpful.Just say, you live here now.” Sharing the cost of a date is normal If elsewhere men pay on dates, this is not always the case in Switzerland.Alice*, a French expat in Zurich, reveals that although her Swiss boyfriend paid on their first date, he expected costs to be split 50/50 after that.
It is not a question of being stingy, however; it is about equality.
“I advise men to pay on a first date,” says ‘flirt coach' Thomas Peter, who runs how-to courses in flirting in Zurich or by telephone or email.
“Later on couples usually want to split the costs – especially older couples," he says, adding that surprisingly "Among young people there is still a tendency for girls to expect their date to pay.” Blending commitment and independence is expected…
You need to make more effort than you think With the rise of dating apps like Tinder and Grindr, many of us expect instant hook-ups.
But this ‘no effort' mentality is a mistake when it comes to dating the Swiss.
“I had to offer full commitment, but be prepared to have and offer a lot of independence too.” …so be clear when dating several people simultaneously While dating a few people at the same time is common in some countries, particularly America, it is not customary in Switzerland.