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To be honest, I thought it was just a tough nickname, not a lifestyle. I’m just the messenger.’ I told him that I wasn’t too scared of dying as I had had a fairly shitty life, and he assured me that, ‘I’d end up begging for mercy. No, I’m just surprised he was stupid enough to use my name.

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I haven’t told them my story and I feel it has been used against me, and yet she is saying it’s what kept me alive. Casual, as if we are best friends with the right of knowledge, full disclosure, trust and shared secrets, but this isn’t the case. I am very clearly still viewed as expendable and they are only telling me things they want me to know. I have spent six months trying to gain information, dig up evidence and stay alive at the same time. Filomina followed out with glasses and a bottle of red wine, as Vito sat across from me. I had a feeling that Vito actually really knew the answer to his own question, but then again maybe he didn’t. I’m sitting in my shop, the curtains are drawn and I can barely move. Into the dark, aware of the instability of my ankles, and the twitching of my knees. The backyard flashed with lights, revealing a gazebo and BBQ table. Katherine, you’ll need to tell us what you know about the missing inheritance. I highly doubt it’s genuine concern for my broken heart: My grief: Obviously not for my fear. I think last night was the worst night of my life, and this morning was just unnecessarily random and cruel. I definitely don’t want this moment, where the pain and shock are so great I can’t even comprehend them. Please spread the word, it’s not about money, it’s about justice. I feel uncomfortable by the mere fact that I can see gumtrees on the nature strips. This one, in particular, was the back of beyond breeding ground for sleeve tattoos, mediocrity and thugs, specifically known for it’s bogun population. I pass by the house and turn back around at the end of the court, parking on the exit side of the street. I can’t decide if he looks more like a Vietnam vet, or a biker. Before I had left home, I had debated about whether to bring Scotch as a peace offering, but wasn’t sure whether you brought gifts to your potential killer’s home. As horrendous as it was at the time, it was plain and simple. Yet, didn’t she just admit it in my ear when I arrived. Every new face implicating and incriminating another person. Divulging separate secrets that when put together were slowly making a simple story into an unimaginable suspense filled drama.

I’m putting both books up here on this site for free. If it gets bad and there’s a chance to get to the car, I’d like a clear escape route. I stop, look down at the tips of my shoes and let my eyelids deliberately close. Someone should write an etiquette book on the subject.

I’m shocked to think that I’m so important, so hated and I suppose, that I’m considered such a threat, and that you have accepted responsibility to do the task. Am I going to get the answers, that I need to walk out unharmed, satisfied, sane and exonerated? ’That would be anti climactic and I feel in my core, that it’s not how I want this game to be played out.

I’m obviously“Alright then, if we are going to be this open, I need to be honest and say, I’d be stupid to pretend I don’t still think I’m at risk. Apparently there’s more than just one person after me. The hackles on the back of my neck again stood up and I saw the hairs on my arm raise on top of goose bumps. He gave me a compassionate look and suggested I take a seat opposite him.

The side streets of East Morang are narrow and windy. The casual acceptance of what I just said was mind fucking. The incessant chatter in my head questions whether I’ll be leaving this house tonight. Filomina offering me a coffee, which I accept, joking that under the circumstances, maybe something stiffer would be more appropriate. It was a lot to take on board in a short time.” of September.” Even as I said it, I felt my heart hankering for the simplicity of the nightmare as it was, back then. That you were concerned as to whether I was now a threat to your She looked at me and gave everyone, (there were now two more teenagers in the kitchen), a surprised innocent, confused look. Oh my God, she just publicly denied that she had made that first anonymous call to me. ” Over the last few months, I had acquired a bit of background knowledge on a few random people.

Why was I allowed to be with him in the first place? I cannot reconcile how my world went from paradise to this nightmare of thugs, lies, thieves, cons and betrayals, let alone living I glance down and realize the turn is ahead and start to concentrate on the road. I am in his house and he may still carry the deed out. Clearly, none of this is normal.depends on a fair few things. Am I going to be able to be of help to them and what if I can’t? I’m ushered into the kitchen and we sit down at the grey, marble counter. It was like being hit in the face, chest and stomach simultaneously. An eyebrow raise and a non comprehending slight shake of my head, as I try to accept the finality of my reality. “I first knew about the threat, the day after I found out about Paul. He informed me, that if I was, then you were going to sort me out. What would be best, was that I had been allowed to happily marry Paul, and be living with the man that loved me.

I’m not lost, just navigating towards another meeting with more strangers in the middle of nowhere, but at least the road is 3 lanes wide and relatively straight. I put it back between my legs, safely nestled in the voluptuous folds of the tulle skirt that I chose for this auspicious occasion, and lightly laugh at myself.