Emotional intimacy and dating
While most of these women would like to become sexual again, they prefer to wait for the in-love version. Their primary reason is that they're not in relationships and they're not interested in casual sex.
I agree that absent a loving partner casual sex is preferable to none. Shifting Attitudes The articles about casual sex are a leap forward for women, and the lack of many judgmental comments from men points to shifting attitudes about women's sexuality.I'd been meeting with a group of guys for more than a decade, and while we had an ongoing dialogue about relationships, sexual issues hadn't been brought up much.Frankly, this isn't something most boomer guys are keen to share.But I was growing increasingly anxious, so I brought up my missing top gear.A fellow my age said he'd been married for thirty-years, and that he and his wife were still having hot sex three or four times a week.In fact, many middle-aged single women believe they've hit the single man jackpot when they first meet a Cinderfella.
But this type of man is not really emotionally available; rather, his insatiable need for instant intimacy says far more about the emotional void in his life than it does about his desire to be in an emotionally secure and reciprocal relationship.
In many respects a Cinderfella is far more dangerous than his solely-sex-seeking cousin, the Seducer -- a type of man who comes with bright red warning signs.
Unlike Seducers, Cinderfellas are not trying to sexually exploit women, and are generally pretty nice guys.
I was in awe, envious, and angry with myself for not knowing what he apparently did. "My wife and I have been working to deepen the emotional intimacy between us since we met, and our deepened intimacy is what's kept our sexual relationship hot for three decades." His answer confounded me because deepened intimacy in a relationship wasn't even on my radar screen.
While I knew he wasn't an anomaly, I didn't have a clue how to include emotional intimacy in a relationship.
So how can we protect ourselves from all the Cinderfellas out there who are increasingly polluting the middle-aged dating pool?