Dating guy with grown daughters
Sometimes there are psychological reasons for an adult child resisting a parent’s new love life.
“You’re our family,” Amy, then 25, yelled at her mother over the phone.“But the next time I visited them, Pat was showing off her new emerald-cut sapphire ring.That thing cost more than a down payment on a house!“One calls him a leech, just because he doesn’t have as much money as I do.The other says he’s boring and that she’d rather be with interesting people.” Lieberman says: “Anne needs to realize that this is probably an expression of her children’s fear or jealousy.” Her advice: Acknowledge their feelings and try to talk it out, or, if they’re not willing or mature enough, to learn to live with it and minimize stressful family get-togethers until they are.6 Tips to Ease the Transition With a New Partner Life with kids is never easy, even when they’ve grown up and moved out.“Many a bad girl or bad boy prowls for rich divorced baby boomers to marry and fleece,” she says.
If your children, who presumably love you dearly in spite of all that other stuff, raise concerns, maybe you should hear them out before diving in.
Bryan, 23, kept repeating that he could no longer “trust” her. “I thought I was close to my children, but suddenly I felt like I didn’t understand them at all.” Why Grown Kids Don’t Like Your New Partner Throwing a hissy fit is a natural youthful reaction to divorced parents’ dating, says Dr. Lieberman, a psychiatrist in Beverly Hills, Calif., who is on the clinical faculty at the Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior at UCLA.
Both children were so insistent that she put off the wedding for at least a year that she did, reluctantly. Unfortunately, this behavior doesn’t always end after a child is in his 20s.
“This even upsets kids who are already out of the nest.
The message their parents are sending is that it is more important for them to have a life of their choosing than to remain in their prior, primary role of mom or dad.” The result: strained relations, uncomfortable moments for everyone and, for you, the feeling that your children may not have your best interests at heart.
At first, her two 20-something sons were fine with her new husband — until they settled into relationships of their own.